Ugh, this hurt so much. I also always believe that I have to be honest no matter what. Because the bible said so, lying is bad. But then I learn white lies exist, that people had their own mask and hiding their trueselves. And it hurts when I was always told to smile when I don't know how to smile without anything external. Don't you want me to be honest? You would rather I force a smile to make you happy?
Long story short, I am also being disillusioned by my own religion. I still love my mom who has extremely good experience with God and her religion, and she claims she can hear the voice of God. But she has also order us around due to what the God said. I won't say she lied, but it would be less annoying for me if she just said that SHE want us to do these things. I dunno, something about it just make me really sad.
A lot of us were taught that honesty meant suppressing ourselves until we barely recognized who we were. It can be really painful realizing how much masking and fear got tied into religion, family, or survival. You’re not bad for questioning it. Like me, you sound tired of pretending.
I feel freer now as an atheist, but sometimes it was lonely getting here, because many people who “loved” me back then only loved me as long as I believed as they did.
Yeah, it is really suck to feel lonely with our own disillusion or truth. Thankfully my sis is on similar if not the exact same lane like I do. It feels less lonely because of it ^^
Oh, I think I'm also asexual or aroace on a spectrum. At least with this one, people can just assume I haven't find the one yet so it's less annoying to deal with. But it does feel annoying that people thing I must have a partner to be both happy and survive the future endeavors.
Holy shit, I relate to this so much as a lesbian brought up in a conservative Catholic environment. In a way, your story gives me hope. I still bear scars from religious trauma, but I’m working on it day by day. I’m glad you were able to undo the religious “guidance” through therapy. I hope you are doing well!
There are so many of us out there. As I finally “came out”, I found out many of my friends in the mid-90s had struggled with similar issues in Louisiana, where I was at the time.
Some days I’m still furious at the world, but mostly now I finally feel confident and comfortable as ME - even if the assholes currently in power hate that. They can bite me and my feminist, doctorate holding, loudly progressive and LGBTQ/neurodivergent ass. :D
Thank you for sharing this! It's unfortunately all too relatable for those who grew up in church and are in the lgbtq community.
Ps: just subscribed because I'm always looking for more lgbtq writers on my feed!
❤️🌈🙏
This hits close to home. Thanks for writing it.
Ugh, this hurt so much. I also always believe that I have to be honest no matter what. Because the bible said so, lying is bad. But then I learn white lies exist, that people had their own mask and hiding their trueselves. And it hurts when I was always told to smile when I don't know how to smile without anything external. Don't you want me to be honest? You would rather I force a smile to make you happy?
Long story short, I am also being disillusioned by my own religion. I still love my mom who has extremely good experience with God and her religion, and she claims she can hear the voice of God. But she has also order us around due to what the God said. I won't say she lied, but it would be less annoying for me if she just said that SHE want us to do these things. I dunno, something about it just make me really sad.
A lot of us were taught that honesty meant suppressing ourselves until we barely recognized who we were. It can be really painful realizing how much masking and fear got tied into religion, family, or survival. You’re not bad for questioning it. Like me, you sound tired of pretending.
I feel freer now as an atheist, but sometimes it was lonely getting here, because many people who “loved” me back then only loved me as long as I believed as they did.
Yeah, it is really suck to feel lonely with our own disillusion or truth. Thankfully my sis is on similar if not the exact same lane like I do. It feels less lonely because of it ^^
Oh, I think I'm also asexual or aroace on a spectrum. At least with this one, people can just assume I haven't find the one yet so it's less annoying to deal with. But it does feel annoying that people thing I must have a partner to be both happy and survive the future endeavors.
Holy shit, I relate to this so much as a lesbian brought up in a conservative Catholic environment. In a way, your story gives me hope. I still bear scars from religious trauma, but I’m working on it day by day. I’m glad you were able to undo the religious “guidance” through therapy. I hope you are doing well!
There are so many of us out there. As I finally “came out”, I found out many of my friends in the mid-90s had struggled with similar issues in Louisiana, where I was at the time.
Some days I’m still furious at the world, but mostly now I finally feel confident and comfortable as ME - even if the assholes currently in power hate that. They can bite me and my feminist, doctorate holding, loudly progressive and LGBTQ/neurodivergent ass. :D
Thanks so much for writing this! Very relatable and appreciated 💛🏳️🌈